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26 April 1971 - 28 May 2016
Patrick was my best friend. No one has or will ever love me as much as he did. No matter what,where,when or why...he was always there for me,even if I didn't really want him to be. He was my constant companion..and I miss him & remember him every minute,every day. A sweet,funny,loyal, passionately tender man.wherever you are Patrick,I hope you're not sad or alone anymore. I'll love and cherish you. FOREVER! "Bye&Bye"
Melissa D'Ann Martin
Hot Chickee Mow Mow
Patrick's suicide note - found on his cell phone six days after he'd killed himself.
I haven't done any one thing so terribly horrible. Its been a long aimless past of mistakes and selfish decisions,opportunities wasted,willful choices of poor judgment,loneliness in a sea of friends,regrets and failures. I consistently disappoint myself and I know that I'm the only one responsible for my fucked up life. I've hurt those I love. Those who count on me are let down. I can't find love. I'm never happy. My IQ is above average which makes me all the more stupid for living a life of underachievment. I've driven the only woman I've loved in fifteen years to hate me. My twenty year old son is a stranger to me and that is surely to his benefit. I was raised a Christian but I never believed there was a God. I know death is final and total. I'm not "crossing over"or entering heaven or walking into the light. Its only the end and that's it. Just like a candle flame extinguished hasn't gone anywhere.It's just gone. Now nothing matters because there's no me for it to matter to. Fourtyfive years isn't a long life but it's long enough. A good life,a happy life,a successful life doesn't want to end. My life is none of that. Its a pathetic life. I occupy the the lowest level of society. I quit before it gets worse. I apologize to those who care. No one could have helped me,I'm too damaged. Mourn if you feel compelled to but please forget me quickly. I leave no lagacy. In a very short time there will be very little evidence I ever existed. Whatever. I'm done. I'm dead.